Twerk it Mama

August 29, 2013

Posted By: Bozemama

It wasn’t till after the twerk seen ‘round the world on Sunday’s MTV Video Music Awards  that I was finally able to put a name on the dance move that I thought I invented in 1993. Please, people, what is all this fuss? You and I both know that you twerk when no one’s looking. I know I do.

And now I think I’m going to start doing it all the time. In public. I mean, why not?

Now that Miley Cyrus has taken twerking to the next level (literally: the term has now been added to the Oxford Online Dictionary ), I think we should all just embrace our best deep squat and twerk whenever the mood strikes. Can’t find the mint chocolate chip ice cream in the bottom freezer? Get twerking. Bored waiting for your gas tank to fill up? Twerk out. Feel like your mortgage loan officer isn’t really listening to you? Just twerk it. What better way can there possibly be to get anyone’s attention? Right? Plus, it does feel preeetty gooood to shake that booty silly after sitting in the minivan all day. And – bonus! – it’s an awesome workout for those flabby mama glutes and quads.

Wait, what? What’s twerking? Oh please. For those of you who’ve been living under a rock, it’s your favorite dance move that you never knew had a name. Or – according, to the urban dictionary, which has my favorite definition – twerking is:

The rhythmic gyrating of the lower fleshy extremities in a lascivious manner with the intent to elicit sexual arousal or laughter in ones intended audience.

I just love that, don’t you? Anything that combines “lower fleshy extremities” with “lascivious” and “laughter” has got to be all good.

Now, if you still need help understanding the twerk and what it looks like, then, please do yourself a favor and check out Tweetie and her how-to video on YouTube . You will just learn so much, I promise! Plus, it’s already got 13 million hits, so you know it’s good.

Tweetie shows us how it's done

Seriously. Not only does Tweetie feel strongly about getting you to really push your butt bone with your thumbs, she’s also clearly very concerned about proper twerking form and preventing injury. You can tell this because she says things like:  “Please make sure that your knees are over your toes.” See? Tweetie cares about your knees. So you can trust her.

As for Miley and her tongue and the teddy bears . . . I have no answers for you. We don’t have cable at my house, so my kids missed all the hullaballoo. But those two are so used to seeing me twerk around the house all the time that I’m sure they would have wondered just scratched their heads at all the fuss. But I can tell you that the Parents Television Council is not happy and says that “heads should roll,” at MTV after this year’s shenanigans at the VMA. I wonder if that includes Billy Ray Cyrus's head? Because he’s actually an advisory board member for that group, the PTC. Just sayin'. Maybe his head should twerk? Now, there’s something I’d like to see.



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