Having a child is nothing short of a roller coaster ride of sleep deprivation, emotional polar extremes and an excessive amount of bodily fluids. We record all of the milestones (with the first child at least) and quietly shame away the not-so-great parenting moments that we accumulate over the years. But let’s be honest: No parent is perfect. I propose we continue to celebrate the wonders of our little offspring while accepting our own failures, picking ourselves up, brushing it off and starting new again, every day.
To make everyone feel better, the Montana Parent family has decided to share some of our worst parenting mistakes and mishaps, because – truth be told – it happens to the best of us. WARNING: If you are a new or pregnant mama, you may be mortified.
-
» Hitting your baby’s head on the doorjamb trying to get her upstairs and into her crib.
-
» Propping your newborn up in a chair for the perfect picture, only to capture her slumping over and falling out of the chair.
-
» Driving into town with a screaming 3-month-old only to later discover that you had pinched a small bit of tummy flesh in the car seat buckle.
-
» Leaving a 3-year-old alone with the baby in a Bumbo seat for what you thought was a minute and returning to find the baby painted with Vaseline. (Trying to pick up
a baby coated in Vaseline is like trying to grab a hold of an egg yolk without breaking it.)
-
» Losing children on numerous occasions: Sweet Pea festival, 4th of July event...
-
» Dropping your baby.
» Accidentally snipping off a bit of finger when trying to trim teeny tiny wiggling fingernails.
» Getting a call from the teacher, wondering if everything is OK at home because your child has worn pajama bottoms to school for three straight days (and you never noticed).
» Telling your kids that if they don’t stop wiping boogers on the wall, then all the boogers are going to come together and form a giant boogie monster. They believe you and can’t sleep for three days, in fear of the monster.
» Going to the wrong classroom for parent teacher meetings, more than once.
» Having people turn and stare while you are screaming at your kids in the car with the Montana Parent license plate.
» Having a child sent to the principal’s office on the second day of school...in Kindergarten.
» Letting an 18-month-old pretend to drive. Then spending $300 to get the CD player fixed because the child put almost $4 of change in it like it was a jukebox.
» Having to call poison control because your toddler ate rubber cement.
» Telling your kid it’s OK to have a sip of water; noticing a moment later the child is holding your vodka cocktail.
» Taking misplaced menstrually-induced emotions out on your children.
» Hitting your baby’s head on the doorjamb trying to get her upstairs and into her crib.
» Propping your newborn up in a chair for the perfect picture, only to capture her slumping over and falling out of the chair.
» Driving into town with a screaming 3-month-old only to later discover that you had pinched a small bit of tummy flesh in the car seat buckle.
» Leaving a 3-year-old alone with the baby in a Bumbo seat for what you thought was a minute and returning to find the baby painted with Vaseline. (Trying to pick up
a baby coated in Vaseline is like trying to grab a hold of an egg yolk without breaking it.)
» Losing children on numerous occasions: Sweet Pea festival, 4th of July event...
» Dropping your baby.
» Hitting your baby’s head on the doorjamb trying to get her upstairs and into her crib.
» Propping your newborn up in a chair for the perfect picture, only to capture her slumping over and falling out of the chair.
» Driving into town with a screaming 3-month-old only to later discover that you had pinched a small bit of tummy flesh in the car seat buckle.
» Leaving a 3-year-old alone with the baby in a Bumbo seat for what you thought was a minute and returning to find the baby painted with Vaseline. (Trying to pick up
a baby coated in Vaseline is like trying to grab a hold of an egg yolk without breaking it.)
» Losing children on numerous occasions: Sweet Pea festival, 4th of July event...
» Dropping your baby.
Maybe we are not perfect moms and dads. But we are perfectly fallible; in the best and most perfect way we can and try to be. Let’s all give it up for those of us who can admit to pinching their baby’s skin in seat belts, dropping and losing kids...because it happens; there are just a lot of us who don’t have the balls to admit it.
