May 14, 2012

Posted By: Shaunescy

Yesterday was my first Mother’s Day as a single mom. Without really knowing why,

I had been grumpy all week, avoiding the ooey gooey cards and massive flower

displays (Valentine’s Day was a similar minefield this year) and kind of dreading the

weekend ahead. Come Friday, I finally realized that I was feeling sorry for myself

-- worried that, without their father to remind them, my children would forget it

was Mother’s Day and expect the usual weekend treatment: three beautiful home-

cooked meals (served with a teensy side of resentment with a smile); crafts and

activities accompanied by refreshing limeade on the deck; and Sunday’s heaping pile

of freshly-folded laundry. All without saying, “thank you,” of course.

See, here’s the thing. After years of disappointing Mother’s Day celebrations, I had

finally trained (yes, there was a shock collar involved) my former husband to really

“celebrate” me annually on this day. Last year included a gorgeous brunch at

the Emerson Grill, a generous gift certificate to Sage Spa, and – best of all – the

opportunity to take a mid-day nap. Because the best kept secret about Mother’s Day

is that most moms just want a break, a few hours alone with a book or going for a

run without anybody asking for a butt wipe or a lost pair of socks or a 12-hour game

of Settlers of Catan. And this, I knew, would not be in the cards for me this year.

So I decided to take charge of my own Mother’s Day. I got the housecleaning and

mowing out of the way on Saturday. I asked the kids to help plan a fun day that

would make everybody happy (the nearly unachievable thing that mothers want

most) and gently prodded my son to make me a card. “Jeez, you really are pushy

lady,” he declared not at all ironically. I could tell that my daughter was already

furtively at work on something exciting by her closed door and hoarding of craft


And this is where I need to digress from the kids for a second (trust me, they’re not

going anywhere) and share with you how vitally important girlfriends are. Knowing

that it might be a rough weekend, my bestest pal Lucy in Seattle sent me a stunning

bouquet of roses with a beautiful card telling me what a good mom I am. And she

should know. We were pregnant together, had our baby girls within months of each

other and have travelled the arduous and euphoric journey of parenthood together

every day ever since. It not only takes a village – it takes friends like Lucy who love

your children like their own and are there to tell you done good when nobody else

remembers to bother to tell you you done good.

OK, back to those little people who keep calling me “Mom.” Sunday morning found

us piled in bed together excitedly opening the goodies they had brought me.

Hermione had indeed outdone herself by making a beautiful paper box and filling

it with a tearjerker of a letter littered with words like “thankful,” “take for granted,”

and “appreciate.” Charlie had -- despite his aversion to my brash insistence -- made

me two “cards,” one decorated with a sword and sheath (naturally) and one hoping

that I enjoyed my special day. Digging deep -- both emotionally and literally -- he

also produced from his underwear some gifts wrapped in toilet paper (am pretty

sure it was unused): a rock, two sticks, and a mystery potion that could be used to

make me “smell better.” Wow. Does it get any better? I don’t think so.

We spent the rest of the day together doing all the things that we had planned. We

rode our bikes to the Stockyard Calfe and gorged ourselves on gooey gingerbread

(oughta be illegal), sausage, biscuits, and pancakes. We spent time at the barn with

Hermione’s horse; played Ogosport; went to see “Dark Shadows;” and finished

our day with a delicious sushi dinner at Seven Sushi. As I fell into bed last night, I

realized that this had been the best Mother’s Day ever. Without the trappings of any

real sense of obligation, my kids and I had spent a day together alone doing things

we love, pure and simple. And I didn’t have to wipe a single butt.

And now fellow moms, I’d love to hear from you about how you spent your special

day with your families.


Bozemama is a local mom, writer, dog owner, all around smashingly funny new contributor to Gum in Your Hair. We are lucky to have her, show her some comment love below, folks.

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