January 15, 2013
Posted By: Shaunescy
I get indignant.
I do. About simple things. About how I can’t just drop my daughter off at preschool on the first day without explaining in detail just how bad it will be if she eats things that trigger her allergy during snack time.
About how much I want to be a volunteer aid in my son’s classroom every day, simply because I do want to know about everything that goes on in there. Because I want to help all the small people understand that good behavior is contagious.
Because I can’t be there every single moment for them the way I was in the beginning. Allergies suck and kids can be mean. And I have to find a way to be strong and allow my children to grow outside of my immediate bubble of protection.
Or maybe I am indignant today because this is what I find populating my minimalist decorating scheme:
I don’t pray in a formal way, but I have spent the past 20 years awakening to the thought that I want to do good and be a kind person throughout every day. Maybe that is weird but I don’t care. I took a meditation Qi-Gong course a billion years ago and it was awesome.
And while meditation hasn't held the answer regarding how I would reconcile my guilty feelings about indulging my daughter's love of Barbie, I did come out of it with an idea of who I wanted to be.
I wanted to be more learned, more compassionate, a better friend . . . And I begged the universe for a bounty of kids that would make me smile, that I could nurture.
Holy crap, that sounds grandiose . . . and yet it’s true. I have felt a desperate pull to be mommy, a mother, forever.
And now I am and it is a challenge. Family is hard. Family is complicated and great. And, as Mother, I share the wheel of our very own private nuclear sub.
And I want to get down to what it is.
It’s not about morals, money or class. It doesn’t matter if you are blue collar or a millionaire with a nanny. It’s about defining opportunities for your children. We often point to extracurricular activities: Is Johnny in band this year? Is Suzy taking the Girl Scout cookie drive by storm?
I am not there yet and, while that tack may work great for some families, I think that what I want for my children may have more to do with listening and understanding; about building a solid foundation of trust, love and mutual respect.
It’s more about the overwhelming minutiae, getting down on the floor and holding your son as he fixes that Lego Bridge that he will then smash with his electric train. What I want has more to do with smiling and laughing while helping your daughter put on her brother’s-two sizes too big Spidey costume, and then helping her put trampy outfits on her Barbie.
I am getting to my point, I promise.
When our children are really small – the goals are humble and huge at the same time. Keep them breathing through the night. Teach them manners and to eat well.
As they grow, it is much the same, but our role shifts so that when they are out on their own -- facing the unexpected -- they still find a way to keep breathing through the night, they have manners to fall back on and they partake heartily from the table of opportunities laid before them.
All my best, Bunnyfufu
note: The awesome Bunny Bubble picture is courtesy of Iman Sadeghi.
More of Iman's work can be seen by clicking HERE